Zach had his first taster session at his new nursery today, he was up at 5am anticipating it!! After the initial excitement there were a couple of tears but they dried up the moment I drove out of the car park and he had a super session. Phew, there is nothing more heart wrenching than leaving a howling child at child care and having to leave someone else to comfort them. The lovely thing about Pirbright Day Nursery is that 3 of the staff there (out of the 6) are the same staff who looked after Teya from 2 years old! Considering the usual churn at nursery schools I think that statistic is hugely impressive. The fact that it is next door to the school is also a huge bonus for me, it makes the transition up to big school even easier for them.

Also this morning, after a few fights with the horrendous website, I have managed to book our tickets to see Santa at the Selfridges Winder Wonderland. We are going up on Tuesday 22nd December with Saf, Ram and their kids and we will make an afternoon of it, taking in the lights and the general atmosphere of London at Christmas time. Countdown has truly begun!

Half term is here! Was lovely having a leisurely morning, we didn't get out of our pj's until gone 10am, bliss.. Today is going to be a quiet one and the kids are off to Granny and Granddad's again this evening as we are hosting our Italian Evening at home later. Matt (cousin) is coming down from Leeds and Steve, David and Amy are also coming over for an Italian night, a reunion from our holiday which was 2 months ago! So, my menu is as follows;

Bruschetta with peppers and goat's cheese

Spaghetti Carbonara

Scallopini di Pollo with mini baked garlic potatoes, fine green beans and arrabiata sauce

Profiteroles

I am making everything from scratch, except for the profiteroles, I can't be doing with the stress of choux pastry! Really looking forward to it, we also have some Corini wine to accompany and of course prosecco for aperativo. Happy weekend everyone xx

Finally got home from Glasgow at 11.30 last night - had been stuck at the airport since 1.30pm too so was rather shattered to say the least. Still home safe, successful presentation given, and the CAM roadshow has now moved on to Manchester, and I am back working at my kitchen table. All is well. So, after all of my jet setting, I wanted to share a few things that I have learned over the past week;

1) Having to leave your family at the weekend, for work, really sucks
2) It is possible to cook a full roast dinner in under an hour
3) If you drive in to the back of a fiat punto at approx 3 mph, which, as a result hits a vauxhall insignia - the fiat will crumple
4) BA only fly from Gatwick North, not South
5) The assistants at the Valet parking at Gatwick are very kind and helpful
6) It is illegal to drive without a front number plate and could lead to a £60 fine (happily this didn't happen, the fine that is - the missing plate did - see point 3)
7) If a stranger on a plane asks me whether I am scared of flying, I will irrationally burst in to tears! Cue a crowd of air hostesses around me and everyone trying to reassure me that despite the turbulence, we were not all about to plummet to our death. God the shame. I blame tiredness.

It has been quite an eventful time!! Happily my crash wasn't bad, but it was sadly all my fault - I saw the lights change, the two in front weren't in such a hurry.. result = nice insurance claim and having to wait even longer until I can sell my car, grr. But, thankfully, no one was hurt. Well aside from my pride...

It's oh so quiet... kids have gone off for a sleepover at my Parents' house, husband is out on his bike with David and I am all alone with just the dogs :) have done the ponies, cleaned up the house, had a bath and opened the fizzy - and its only just 6pm!! Really tempted just to stay in this evening and have a takeaway with the fire on, but really we should make the most of the childfree time and go out for some dinner. I am quite fancying the idea of Greek this evening and we do have a super restaurant only a few miles away, so I may be tempted in to dolling myself up and embracing the evening, but equally I am cozy in my dressing gown, clean and make up free and the sofa is calling ha ha.

I did nip in to town earlier to do some errands and I picked up a fab teal and navy tunic dress from good old Primark, £15 and it is really lovely, so I may give it a run out. I only went in for socks and hair clips! Primark is a funny place, I love their socks/costume jewellery/kids pj's/ hell, my PJ's/ kids fitted sheets; but I don't always find clothes that I am willing to pay even a few ££ for. But, it is worth a frequent check because sometimes they have great items - things that you couldn't get any better elsewhere. I will post a pic of my tunic regardless of whether it gets an outing later, it looks much more monsoon, but I have saved myself over £100!!

It is all about comfort food this evening, Teya came home from dance club STARVING and FREEZING (!) so I was very glad that I had made them Cottage Pie for supper. I make mine with a bol mince (softened onions, beef mince from local butcher, 1 tin tomatoes, red wine, 1/2 beef stock pot, garlic puree, tomato puree and mixed herbs with some extra oregano - salt and pepper) then a layer of baked beans (1 tin) followed by a hearty layer of cheddar and then topped with mashed potato. My lot don't like 'crispy' cheese so I find the layer inside works best, all gooey and delicious between baked beans and mash, yum! Served with a corn on the cob and of course, tomato ketchup ;)

Wednesday already! Seems as though the weekend was ages ago - such a fun weekend that it was. On Saturday we dropped the kids off at Mother in Law's just before lunch and headed up the M1 towards Leeds for my Uncle's Retirement Party. We arrived just before 3 and found a pub/restaurant near to JC's house for lunch, quite by chance. The 315 turned out to be a fabulous choice, it is owned by an ex head Chef at Le Manoir and was absolutely fantastic, we just had bar food, steak and onion sandwich with chips for Him and Cajun chicken wrap and onion rings for me, but wow it was just superb, and all washed down with another great Marlborough Sauvignon. Here is a picture of my onion rings, the best I have ever had anywhere bar none! It was very reasonable too, big thumbs up from me. Oh, and there wasn't an under 18 to be seen ;)

Then we headed over to Groom Cottage at Fenay Hall and spent the rest of the afternoon reading and chatting (with more wine) in the autumn sunshine, it was lovely - but so quiet without the kids! It is a strange thing being away without them, much as it is lovely to just relax and have a good chat without worrying about high chairs, nappy changes, colouring pencils etc, it just feels so empty when they are not around. Anyway they were having a ball with their granny so that was lovely in itself. Parents joined us at around 6 and we all got ready and headed over to the party in Wakefield. Was really lovely to see JC and Matt and meet Becky (new girlfriend) and a very amusing evening was had by all. Lovely to celebrate JC's time as part of the Armed Response unit for Yorkshire Police, and to toast all of his Army achievements too. I do feel however that despite the fact that he is 53, his retirement is going to be anything but quiet.. watch this space!

A year ago today I said a final goodnight to my darling pony and best friend of nearly 20 years..it has been a weird day for me today, I miss Dusty immensely and so much of me wants to take all that I am living with and just feel sorry for myself, and to crawl up and cry. But, that is not me. I had a good day at work today and achieved all that I set out to and then went over to the pub with my Mummy friends and had a very fun evening lamenting with them and drinking bloody good Sauvignon, was perfect and very fun. I raised a glass to my beautiful friend though, as I miss her every day. She was amazing and has left a hole in my heart. The 29th of September, the birth date of one of the first loves of my life and the date that I lost another. Happy birthday Fred, and goodnight Dusty xxx

I am very happy to inform you that it is only 88 days 'till Christmas my good people :) woohoo, I am ridiculously excited about that, as I always am around this time of year, summer over, nights drawing in, heatwaves.. WTF is that all about?! I actually sat in our Pub garden with my colleagues today, and it is the end of September - total madness, but rather pleasant.. Anyway back to Xmas, I have started my shopping already and am feeling very happy about that, I need to keep the costs right down this year as far as gifts go - let's face it we all have far too much already so I am going to be inventive and shrewd, well that is the plan anyway. Best news is that my sister and Andrew and her husband Andrea are all coming home this year, we missed them so much last year. It will be magical, I am trying to restrain myself from too much planning but I am happy at the thought.

Operation Hen Night is going swimmingly, have found a beautiful cottage for us in the Cotswolds for the first weekend in January - all 20 of us! Should be great, only trouble is trying to get some of them to reply...

Brr, anyone else feeling a tad chilly now? I have the 13.5 tog duvet back on the bed and we have the fire on most evenings too - am still too tight to put the heating on mind you, am going to hold out until October at the earliest.. stocked up on new PJ's for us all at the weekend, Primark do the best bargain kids' traditional wyncyette PJ's, £4 a pair and they last/wash really well. On the subject of autumn wear I found these biker boots from Next (no Jimmy Choo for me this year, boo) and I am really pleased with them, they are comfy and the leather is good, they look much more expensive than the £60 that they were. I have worn them practically every day since they arrived. What is it with Next and their huge shoe sizes though?? I had to get a 38 and I am a 6-6.5 so pretty much a standard 39, bizarre. Now I am just trying to decide on what should be my priority A/W purchase, I am trying to be good as I bought quite a bit at the end of last season that I haven't worn yet (bargain Twenty8Twelve jeans from The Outnet for example) and I am determined not to buy and cheap and cheerful clothing that won't last - so if I buy anything it will be quality and I will have to love it, well that is the plan anyway! I am loving the Isabella Oliver collection this year, and lots from Hush too, but the prices of everything have just shot up, again, I am not loving that.

Yesterday afternoon over 300 people packed in to our village church to say farewell to Trevor Cobley. Trevor lost his fight with cancer on the 31st August, his 37th wedding anniversary, just 2 months after his diagnosis. He was only 64. It was an amazing service though, really emotional but so very well done. I was truly astounded by his wife Catherine, she was so composed throughout the whole service and spoke beautifully about her darling Trevor. As the pallbearers carried the coffin to the graveside the strong autumn sunshine broke through, Trevor would have been very happy.

I had only known Trevor for just over a year, he was one of my fellow governors and a really lovely man with great presence and immense passion for everything he undertook. He loved our school, and all his friends, and was so welcoming and fun to be around.

So, today I have been thinking about life's small details that give great pleasure;

• Freshly cut grass - I know it is an old one but I love the sight and smell of the grass when it has been freshly cut


• Hearing my children laugh


• Cuddling up in front of an open fire with my kids all clean and warm from the bath and all in our pj's.


• The greetings that I receive from my dogs and horses, they don't speak but they show so much love


• Sharing a catch up and bottle of wine at a friend's kitchen table


• Brand new towels


• Clean bedding


• New lipgloss


• Phone calls with my sister


• Long lunches with all of my Family


• Seeing photos of my friends' children as they grow up

• Laughing with my friends

Please share your favourite simple pleasures!

Thank goodness the wind has died down - it was crazy yesterday and we weren't even in a badly affected area. Dogs and horses were going crazy in it so I can't imagine what it must have been like in some places. Zach and I took a walk down to the local toddler group yesterday morning, something that despite being a parent for nearly 8 years, I have never done! It is just NOT my scene drinking cups of tea and chattering to badly dressed, unmade up, harassed women about bowel movements and breastfeeding, so I have always avoided those places like the plague. *disclaimer I know that not all women who go to toddler groups fit my description, but that was always my perception ;) I have never done an ante natal/ NCT class either - but actually it was OK, Zach enjoyed playing with the toys and I got talking to Suzanna, who has a little boy of 18 months and I am happy to say that she was quite fun and normal - we were talking about male strippers at hen nights after 20 minutes, and she wasn't wholly whinging about the trials of motherhood, so quite a result all round. Zach doesn't start at his new nursery until November so I think it will be nice for him to socialise with more children than just our friends, and it is only once a week, oh and it is FREE!

Toothless is doing really well, on the last of her antibiotics now and vet very happy with her. Fingers crossed that there is no more trauma with her. Cal settling in brilliantly too - we took him to school yesterday to meet all of Teya's friends, 45 minutes was how long it took to get us through the playground and out! He was impeccable though, I was very proud.

Tonight we have Jay and Jude coming round for dinner, fresh from a week in Spain the lucky beasts! I am making a lamb buhna from Madhur Jaffrey's Ultimate Curry bible, not done it for a while so hoping it be OK, I love that the slow cooking of the lamb makes it so tender - have sent husband off to the halal butchers for the meat this morning (our local Halal butcher is amazing for value if cooking in bulk, 500g of chicken breast is approx £3, fabulous!) very much looking forward to catching up with them, it has been ages!

I didn't end up doing the MJ recipe as my book has disappeared?! But I found this James Martin one, which was brilliant and easy! I left out the coconut milk, yogurt and pomegranate and added 1/2 tbsp of cumin and 2 potatoes, it was delish but needed an extra hour cooking time (and the potatoes!) to thicken up the sauce.

So, my Bells shall from now on be known as toothless! Poor darling had to have 16 teeth extracted yesterday, looks as though she got something (most likely broken tooth) stuck in her gum which made way for food etc to get in a fester. Bless her, it happened so quickly, the infection was very nasty but thank god I took her in, it could have led to blood poisoning and potential kidney/ heart failure :( but we did catch it quickly and she is now recovering well, she is 100% happier already love her.

Off to take Cal out on his first walk this morning, yay!

Have a great weekend everyone xx

Happy Friday everyone! This morning my little Bella is going in for an operation on her mouth, she is so tiny I feel very nervous about her going under general anaesthetic. When we got back from holiday I noticed that her breath was beyond offensive, tried to look in her mouth and she visibly recoiled in pain, not good. Took her to the vet and she has contracted some horrendous infection, she has been on antibiotics for the past 3 days and they are going to look at her mouth this morning and check that all is healing as it should, they are concerned that she might have broken a tooth! Fingers crossed for a smooth op and quick healing for my little lady.

Cal slept in his crate last night for the first time, shut in that is. I got up at 6 to let him out and he was brilliant! Straight in to the garden and then back in for his breakfast, no fuss, no mess WHOOP! V chuffed. Off to take him to meet the horses and Janet's Poppy this morning, should be very exciting for the pup.

I have fallen in love with a wallpaper! I really need to get the fireplace in my snug sorted and I have been thinking of papering part of some of the other walls, to compliment the F&B Rectory Red that my chimney breast is painted currently. This is the paper; I know it won't be to everyone's taste but to me it is exactly what I am after

It is fab, but sadly £57 a roll, so it will have to remain on my wish list for now..

Ah back to school for my little lady today, in the thrashing rain! I cannot believe that she is in Year 3, first rung on the Key Stage 2 ladder, seems very grown up. Indeed she looked grown up skipping off this morning in her new school shoes (NOT Lelli Kelly ones I add, that was one battle I refused to back down on) in to her new classroom. Any moment she will be home and I cannot wait to hear all about her day, although I fully expect to be shrugged off.


So the new man in my life is doing very well, little Cal born 27th June 2011 came home to live with us last Friday. He is a black lab with big ears and gorgeous eyes and we are all smitten (in spite of his rather dodgy belly for the first 24 hours!) Even Bella seems pretty accepting of him so far, which is great - long may that continue. He is a right wind bag though, jolly stinky, I hope he grows out of that, mind you, my husband hasn't! We live in such a fab place for dogs, great walks on our doorstep and of course we have the horses, so I am sure he will be very happy. I know that I am looking forward to autumn walks (not so much to those in the freezing rain and wind) and watching him grow up with our children. Mind you that is IT now, family definitely complete, not so much as another goldfish, I am done..

I am back! Hi all, after a lovely few days in Italy with my darling friends and family I am back to a bloody cold Pirbright and for the first time ever I genuinely wasn't ready to come home. It was amazing being back at Casella, although we did miss the absentees - we forgive Damon and Kitty though as Baby Reggie was born only 2 weeks previously *melt* huge congrats to them. Whilst away we relaxed by the pools, wandered in the countryside, drank prosecco in the piazza, ambled around beautiful Orvieto, crashed an Italian wedding by the Duormo (in more ways than one) swam in lake Bolsena, went to Corini wine tasting and danced fully clothed in the waterfall pool at midnight! One thing that was so special was that the 3 toddler boys were absolutely fantastic. Yes, each of them had their moments (hell they are all under 3!!) but overall they were just so so good, so content and no trouble at all - I was so proud of them all.

Teya and Andrew playing in the volcanic sand at Bolsena

My darling Droo has been diagnosed with ASD, it is still in the early stages of the diagnosis, and there is a long road ahead, but it is great that he is now going to get some extra help to enable him to flourish, and that I know he will. One thing about my poor Sis having a broken leg, it has meant that Andrew has bonded so much with Kevin and I and our friends too - he is just so delightful and he has done brilliantly well at forming new relationships, and I am immensely humbled and proud of him, he has been wonderful in the past 3 weeks of being with us all, I am quite bereft that I have had to leave them behind, I miss them all so much it aches. Love, wow it is one powerful emotion.

Anyway, here is where we stay every year for those who are interested - the place is amazing, staff lovely, food and wine amazing and it is all self sufficient, truly escapism. From the moment you reach the end of the 6 kilometer drive you relax, you have to, and that is all you really need from a holiday!

http://www.lacasella.it/

What an eventful time! It was so wonderful having my sister and Andrew home, well aside from the fact that on day 5 she broke her ankle.. Nightmare - we suddenly found ourselves sourcing wheelchairs and reading the small print on airline T's & C's. No she didn't have travel insurance and yes my Dad had to fork out for 2 extra flights, one to send Mum back with her last Friday, and one to bring Mum back home next week (BA won't honour the return flight if you don't use your outbound one, apparently!) So, it has been a tad stressful but we did have a great time, and it was just lovely having them here.

So, today is the last day before we fly out to join them in Italy, it is almost 40 degrees in Orvieto at the moment, at least 25 degrees hotter than it is here right now, I even had the fire on last night as it was so chilly. We are all packed, just the kids carry on to finalise and Teya and I are booked in for our mani/pedis later (well she is only having a paint) oh and Steve is having his hooves done too - then it is an early night before a 3.45am start with our buddies tomorrow, Heathrow T5, here we come..

FINALLY FINALLY at 1am this morning my sister and Andrew arrived home, safe and sound!! I am working like a loony this morning to get everything done so that I can spend from 3.30 with them - they are all coming over to mine for a play in the garden and kid's tea, no doubt there will be some fizz for us and a great long chat, I am so so so looking forward to seeing them.

Firstly I would like to say sorry to you all, readers, I know I haven't exactly posted happy news recently.. I can't quite remember how it came about (wine filled night at Amy's with Saf and Janet) but the it transpires that the lovely M - one of Teya's best friends' Dads - has just been diagnosed with leukemia. I don't think that I have the eloquence to vocalise the thoughts in my head to the wonderful D family but honestly my heart breaks for them, I pray that M gets better and I send my love to them all. It makes what I am living with almost laughable, except that all I can do is live with it, and remember to try to laugh.

I am dreading tomorrow, I have a shitty day ahead - but as I have described, it could be much worse. Give your loved ones an extra big cuddle tonight xxxx

As it is currently chucking it down out there (and blowing a gale!) I have decided to browse the new A/W collections that are trickling in.. OK I am also up ridiculously early because I can't sleep - but it is a good time to do some look book collation, whilst everyone sleeps and before I start work! So far I have this lot on my wish list;

A good trench coat

A fun bright jumper, am loving the idea of rusts/ burgundy etc to sort of carry on the brights theme from this summer (not that I have worn my brights very much admittedly!! )

A fabulous blouse (again similar colors - this is a major lust btw, not going to ever actually be mine!!)

And lastly a pair of ankle biker style boots similar to these; I tried these exact ones in Harvey Nichols back in March when I went for a fabulous day out with Amy, I was sooo tempted but I wasn't 100% about the gold buckles, even though they weren't bright gold I would def have preferred pewter/ gun metal grey. They are stunning though..

What a crappy start to the week! Monday morning I went down to my yard to feed the horses only to find that, to my horror, Basil was nowhere to be seen.. Trying not to panic I then realised that I had left my phone at home too, so couldn't reach any help - and my yard is pretty isolated. Managed to get to my friend Cat's house (there was an accident in the village that prevented me getting home quickly) and she kindly lent me her phone... So, I started down the perimeter of the field with Ladybird looking mournful behind me- when I noticed that there was a black pony in the field opposite, through the dense woodland, so I shouted his name and lo and behold - there he was! Thank goodness! Only issue was that he had bust out through the barbed wire, which looked slightly as though it had been tampered with, looked a little odd but it is old fencing so I thought nothing more of it. Bless him he had cuts all over his chest but other than that, he seemed to be fine.

Later that evening Mum arrived on my doorstep asking if I had moved our saddles.. I hadn't of course, they had been stolen. Gutted. We assume that the thieves tampered with the wire enabling Baz's escape and took our most valuable assets. So angry though, we are just a little yard of two family horses, nothing flashy - why did they have to steal from us? So upset too because my saddle was Dusty's, a saddle that I saved for 5 months for when I was 18 so that she could have a fabulous one and Mum's was a gift from me to her to thank her for all the hard work that she put in to our wedding. So, I know they were just saddles, but they had sentimental value too. Well, it could have been worse and thank god both horses are OK.

Happy Sunday all! Had a lovely time yesterday, nipped in to town to check out my bridesmaid's dress for Kate and Tom's wedding, I didn't get to see the actual dress as it wasn't in their stock but I saw one similar and looked at the colour swatches, was sooo lovely to be back in a bridal boutique! Also lovely as Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall got married, in Edinburgh and the bride wore Stuart Parvin - as did I :) great choice.

Kate and Tom popped in to see us last weekend before heading off to a friend's wedding, was so lovely to see them, very exciting to talk wedding plans and ideas and I saw a couple of pics of what she has in mind, just stunning! All her ideas are plotted in the Smythson wedding planner that I sent her, which is actually a brighter green than it looked on the site, but fitting due to my delightful nickname (Greenie, BTW). I also saw a photo of her in a real dress and OH MY, she looks just beautiful. That girl is going to be one beautiful bride and I am so so thrilled that I get to be her maid of honour. We toasted their engagement in style in the sunshine

I have had some very happy news today - one of my dear friends has just got her longed for BFP!! Very very happy for her, and excited too.. It is still early days mind you so it is still a secret, but I know you lot can handle that ;)

Summer holidays are in full swing and I am shocked at how quickly the time is going. I have lots of plans up my sleeve for my days off and am hoping that we will get a lot done. Most excited about next Friday, weather permitting we are off to West Wittering for the day, which means a very early start to avoid the queues, we have never been before but have high hopes - any recommendations for must see/dos??

Happily we are having a quiet time this weekend which is fantastic, no huge plans and Teya isn't riding so we have a quiet morning ahead. Talking of Teya's riding, she is doing brilliantly well, such a little natural - she is confident cantering out on hacks now and her ability is going from strength to strength. I cannot wait to go out in to our beautiful countryside with her and hope that I will have chance to this summer. The fair is back in town so we are off there with the Ross family on Sunday afternoon followed by a glass of something chilled at the pub before heading off to Pete's surprise 40th BBQ @ Matt and Olivia's! Did I say it was a quiet one?! That was the plan...

I am shattered today, found out last night that my Sister can't get her little boy a seat on the flight home so she cannot come home for the weekend. I am so so upset it is untrue. She was due to fly home alone originally and her MIL was going to have Andrew for the weekend but her mother (MIL's mother) had a fall on Monday and broke her arm at 90 odd so my sister decided to bring Andrew back (YAY) instead of leaving him with her fraught MIL - but all the flights are full, except for BA who want to charge 800 euro :( so it looks as though she will have to stay at home.

Last night Teya had a temperature of 40 and tummy ache which caused her much grief and I was up most of the night with the poor thing, she seems much better today and is adamant that she will do her sport's day today but I can't help but worry that she will make herself feel worse, poor baby. I hope the rain holds off. What a crappy time. At least I can duck out of work to cheer her on later..

Back on the diet wagon! Rubbish, but needs must. So far day 2 of no carbing is going well, I really need to get out and run but where is my mojo?! God knows, all I know is that I do not fancy it at the moment, probably due to stress, which is daft because I know that I would feel better if I got out there.

Riggy comes home on Thursday with Andrew and I cannot wait! I have missed them so very much and cannot wait to have a good old chit chat over a glass of bubbly. Need to sort out what we are doing and most importantly what I am cooking (obvs the diet will go out of the window at the weekend, but hey the 80/20 rule) Thursday night I think I will do an 'english' mezze of her fav dishes, not an italian dish in sight! I plan to do, bread, cheeses, big feta and broad bean salad, smoked salmon, asparagus and goat's cheese tart, kettle chips and homemade dips (coronation dip and sweet chilli and creme fraiche) and some twice baked potatoes, that should do the trick! Oh and a cheese cake I think, but need to locate a recipe...

I think I must be one of the only people in the country to is very happy NOT to be going to see Take That in concert. Everywhere I turn there are people gushing about the TT tour, the radio, Facebook, Twitter and even my local friends, they are all going crazy for it! Not that I want to sound too much like a grumpy old lady but I really cannot abide them - dullmcdull in my book. Foo Fighters, now I am quite gutted I missed them at Hyde Park recently, that would have been a show worth seeing.

'It's like World War One sponsored by John Lewis' PMSL probably the best quote relating to Glastonbury ever! Too funny. To be fair there is nothing on earth that could even tempt me in to going to Glastonbury, or any other festival for that matter, just NOT MY BAG. Seriously, I wouldn't even bother with the red button, I can't bear the attendees. I am also sneezing like a bastard, in the middle of summer and am feeling rather grumpy about my well being.

BUT

I have GREAT news - although I am not allowed to share it.. YET.. Such wonderful news that I heard tonight, just the best news and I am beyond cloud nine for my amazing friends!

Butterscotch Tart

I have been looking for a long time for a perfect BST recipe, it is my daughter's favourite pud and my quest has always been somewhat futile up until now as none of them have quite cut the mustard. However, this one is the absolute best and everyone agrees that it is wonderful! It has become a firm family fav and is top of the treat pudding list.

6oz Caster Sugar
6oz Butter
1 1/2oz plain flour
3 1/2 floz double cream
1tsp vanilla extract (optional - I don't add it)

Mix the sugar and the flour
Melt the butter and add the cream
Bring to the boil
Add the sugar/flour mix
Once the mixture is completely melted pour in to a sweet pastry case
Allow to cool and set and then serve!

Enjoy ;) but beware it is NOT a diet option

Teya eagerly awaiting the pudding (PS that is a bought pastry case, from Waitrose - they are the best ones, life is too short to make pastry IMHO!)

I hear that Dermot O'Leary is on Radio 2 this morning... and so I am reminded of last Saturday's antics at FORTYTUDE.. cringing and smiling at the memories, here is a quick recap.

2pm last Saturday Amy, David, Janet and Matt arrived Chez Neill all looking marvellous in their 1940's costumes and armed with vats of wine and beer for the party ahead. We opened the champagne and raised a glass to a child free afternoon and evening of revelry. We had all managed to send our minis off to their grandparents' for the night so it was time to let our hair down.

Taxi arrived at 3.15 and took us over to our venue in Hook Heath. C&I's place looked fabulous, bunting adorned, straw bales in place, the bar set up and even a 40's jeep as one of the props, everyone had made a huge effort and looked great - bright red lipstick and seamed back stockings as far as the eye could see. The wine flowed and we all took up camp under a small gazebo at the top of the very sloping garden - it is at this point that I shall alert you reader to the fact that there had been a LOT of rain - happily there was only one downpour during the party but as a result it was very slippery, something which would make navigating the garden somewhat difficult later on.

The chablis was flowing and the music played, everyone was in post war merriment and there was much laughter and dancing, they also had a fish and chip van come and do the catering which was a brilliant touch. It was shortly after tea that the whole affair began to get messy.. Katie managed to persuade me that the vodka and cranberry juice was a good option and Matthew decided that a great accompaniment to his evacuee outfit was Pat's pink leather gloves.. the carnage started.

Amy fell off her chair, twice - second time in to me taking out the side of the aforementioned gazebo, David took her home at 10pm and when she arrived she promptly fell head first in to the flowerbed! Janet and I staggered around trying to dance but in reality falling down drunk - and then the worst happened, poor Dermot arrived, yes he is a friend of the birthday couple - and after my playing it pretty cool on the 'don't bug the celeb' front - decided that when Janet was trying to get her photo taken, that I would vocalise the fact that he was much shorter in real life than he was on the telly! Oh the shame, he took a huff and stropped off at that (unsurprisingly) I then managed to lose my hold ups, MAC lipstick and umbrella and I have no idea how. I have no recollection of the taxi ride home but we do have some rather shocking pictures of Janet and I covered in mud eating toast at mine at 1am! Oh, we lost Matthew - he fell up some steps, gashed his knee and bumped his head and got his own taxi home at 5am!!! The next morning I was covered in bruises, slightly shocking headache and it took me nearly 36 hours to recover. Was such brilliant fun though - just won't be back on the vodka any time soon...

I am just nipping back to edit - I realise that I haven't updated this since FORTYTUDE and really I must commit the antics of my friends and I to this blog, just for the sheer shame/ amusement factor if nothing else.. this I shall do dear readers, once I have filled in a few more blanks from the event, which incidentally started at 2pm at my house...

It is sale time again - YUK! Horrid time for actually braving the shops, and lethal time to hit the online shopping emporiums... I have tried to stay away from Malene Birger, Whistles and Ted Baker (to name a few) but the discounts are soooo tempting. Still hankering after the Plumo Biba scarf but TBH it is only actually reduced by £5 once you add the P&P so I should really have bought it with the discount code they sent me ages ago... Anyway the only things that I would really love are a fabulous quality black tee and a pair of black ankle boots - flat ones - neither of these things appear to exist, well not exactly what I am after (well I did find a stunning tee but all sold out @ BMB). Loads of 'stuff' I would like but so far so good, I have been a good girl.

Furious with H&M who seem to have sent my most recent order to a random address and it is lost! Not that I think I will ever get chance to wear the white shorts that I ordered at the end of MAY but still - so far their customer service is proving next to useless. Will have to pick up the phone I think..

After a fun filled weekend supporting our village at the scarecrow fair on Saturday and a fabulous curry supper at friends' house yesterday it is sadly back to Monday again.. Great news though, the school's entry of William Shakespere won first prize and we are thrilled, and very proud of Mrs Wilson's efforts.

This week is so busy, I am off to Gloucester and Heathrow (sadly just for a meeting, not jetting off..) tomorrow and Wednesday - hopefully meeting up with the gorgeous Miss Birley tomorrow pm - I am chairing my first Safeguarding meeting Wednesday night at the school, Thursday it is Teya's class assembly (she is a dancer!) and Friday I am meeting up with old friend Simon to discuss my new plan for business expansion.. Talking of which I MUST get my ass in to gear and actually do my website, at the moment http://www.kknconsulting.co.uk/ looks shocking!

Then it is rev up for a whole day and night's partying at FORTYTUDE.. need to sort hairstyle and book taxi (note to self)

This weather is quite frankly, depressing. I am trying to remain positive and summery but I have reverted to my cardigan and scarf teamed with ballet pumps as a nod to the season - gah, either chuck it down or brighten up - I cannot be doing with this!

It is our Village Scarecrow Festival on Saturday - an event that gets better every year and we are really looking forward to it! We are not doing one but shall be supporting everyone who enters and I am really looking forward to seeing everyone's efforts. The theme is famous Katherine and Williams so it should be fun. Jo W is doing the school's entry - and we still don't know what it will be. The Pimms tent is always a hit too, so roll on Saturday and lets hope Mr Sunshine appears just in time.

I am 32! I had an interesting birthday weekend, some parts amazing and some not so fun, but I am a year older and maybe wiser, so hey.. I got an Alex Munroe necklace and a pair of Tom Ford sunnies from my darling husband and the kids which knocked me for six, I was very chuffed. My lovely friends gave me some super gifts too, I got a clarins lip gloss, a beautiful contemporary decanter, some tops, a Bruno Mars CD (from J&J to remind us of our holiday!) and some lovely bottles of wine too - I am a very lucky lady.

It was Josh's Baptism on Sunday and despite the downpour it was a wonderful day. I wore a chiffon warehouse black dress and pink heels (which I swapped for silver flats as soon as I could!) and I carried my stunning Marc Jacobs cream clutch that I got for my Sister's wedding, the kids and Kev all looked stunning in their smart outfits too and I was very proud of my little lot that day. The Woollett's put on a great do and all the kids were so well behaved, was fab, and I felt very humbled.

Happy June everyone! The sun is shining and it is 3 days until I am 32... for now I am just cracking on with finishing all the work that I have to do before my weekend starts at 5pm tomorrow, yippeee! Currently doing a basket dance with a pair of Tory Birch pumps that I have been lusting after for AGES (see entry in March blog I think?!) as a pressie to me - I have no idea what my hubs has got me, he hasn't even asked what I would like this year, and is being very mysterious as to what he has got...

I was planning to start the 17 day diet today (as seen in the Sunday Times style mag this Sunday) but I rather feel it futile seeing as there is a weekend of excess looming.. all the weight I lost for hols is starting to creep back- ironically since I returned from Florida, so it is time to be good again. Last week I ran 3 times though and have done once this week so the exercise is no biggie, its the food and wine in abundance that get me, ah well.

My 40's style Antik Batik dress arrived from Ebay, super purchase for £10! It was a vile bright orange but my darling mum has dyed it bitter chocolate and it looks great now, just need to hit primark for a tonne of pearls and dig out the seambacked stockings (god knows when they last had an outing) and I will be all set to party at FORTYTUDE on the 18th June in celebration of C&I's 40th birthdays..

My latest furniture project, not too demanding this one, but new sideboard for my kitchen, the space where the old wine fridge was - I am going to replace the handles with stainess steel versions but I can live with them for now! I am really pleased with it (excuse the TV wire!) top one is before.. below after - cleaned, sanded, top primed and painted in Farrow and Ball's All White

No word on my neighbour.. haven't seen his wife either so can only assume that she is spending a lot of her time with him at the hospital, I do hope he is on the mend and home soon.

Just wanted to big up this facial tanner from Chanel, Soleil Identite - this is my third summer of using this stuff and I love it! Gives you a very natural glow, doesn't have a whiff about it and it lasts me all summer long. Highly recommend it

I am not really the praying kind - not wholly sure why, I have never been hugely religious (despite my stint as a chapel prefect at my good private CofE boarding school, the only time readers that I would ever bear prefect after my name, and really it was only because there were a limited number of us and I think it gave way to the smoking/drinking guilt that I didn't harbour in sixth form - anyhow, I digress) but never opposed either, I hope for a greater good and I want to bring my kids up with 'faith' but I am sorry to say that I am not entirely sure what that means. I do love going to the services now (maybe smugface that I know all the words to hymns due to my ridiculous talent that is retaining lyrics to any song I hear from Rutter to Lady GaGa) and am happy to bring my children up as members of the church but sometimes I feel, quite frankly, lost in it all.

What I do know is that it is late and I am pondering. My dear next door neighbour was taken ill whilst we were in Florida and further to a number of doctor and hospital visits over the past weeks - this evening we have seen the emergency ambulance arrive outside their house. Quite honestly I feel incredibly scared about what happens next. Two of my incredibly dear friends have lost their dearly loved ones in the last 10 days and my heart breaks for them, it is just so very sad and their sense of loss must be immense, I only hope I can be a good friend when they need me, and a sympathetic shoulder.

To the lovely Bob next door, a wonderful man who always has a spring in his step and an amusing anecdote to tell - a loving husband, father and grandfather and someone who needs to remain with us for a good while yet. So, I guess I pray, or maybe I just hope, but I really want to see his bubbly self restored to our village very soon - get well Bob, lots of people are rooting for you xxx

Fascinating program on BBC 3 - super brands, Abercrombie and Fitch is on now and a quote from a respectable member of the public states that the brand 'projects vanity and superficiality' this is absolutely right, what have they done? Half starved staff in (what are essentially) tracksuits is NOT a good look, although tragically our teens seem to lap it up and have have snapped up 20 salmon pink polo shirts quicker than one can say 'Daddy I NEED an allowance raise!'

I know I am sounding old when I say that it is not what it used to be, it was all American fun once upon a time, but now it is chavtastic clothing for those with a large student loan, and/or a trust fund and with no individual style of your own. One kid even said that they wouldn't be friends with someone who 'didn't wear the brand' ..

But, seriously, have you seen the CEO ??! Urgh and OMG ;) am so very glad that I was over the brand by 2002 !!

After 2 days away and 800 miles done in my little silver motor car, I am home and back at my desk! Phew, way too much to catch up on, but all is well. The little sister dined with Kirsten Dunst (coincidence that she was mentioned in my previous post!!) in Cannes last night and I AM STILL waiting for an update.. Little Sister is currently working down there because the film festival is on - she always goes dark during this week, way too much partying and work going on ;) but I cannot wait to hear from her.

So on my trip away I managed to visit my friend Pooja and her rapidly expanding family, it was the first time that I had met her littlest, Alisha (14 months) and OMG what a little doll she is! Akshay is a gorg boy too and the Bump is expanding at a great rate.. 3 under 4.. wow! Pooj is as fun and fabulous as ever, the time goes so quickly - as I drove away from their house at 11pm it struck me just how much I love seeing my old friends, how much I miss them and how glad I am that no matter how long it has been we can just pick up where we left off.. I feel very lucky for that.

Stayed at the Malmaison in Liverpool which was as fab as the Mal's always are - I just love them. Bargain room as I pre booked and the whole thing was fabulous.. the lie in till 845am was very very welcome too - but I did whizz on down the M6 as fast as I could after my meetings, desperate to see my minis who gave me a wonderful welcome home..

So, typically last week my new Wayfarers arrived, the week after my holiday! But I have to say that they were worth the wait (esp at the price I paid for them) and I am loving them - I feel all Kirsten Dunst in them, teamed with denim shorts and a white tee, they are fab. No squinting at the sun at all, and their chunky shape indulges my geeky side, v chuffed.

I must not buy any more sunnies though, I must not, not, not.

Basil's training has begun! Last week Mum pegged out our new arena in the field and on Thursday I took Baz in there for the first time, in his headcollar. He responded really well, despite his initial hesitance and was walking and standing to voice command immediately. He did nap in the corners between A & K on the left rein and between A & F on the right, but only a couple of times (that was because we were turning away from where Ladybird was standing) but by the end of the 20 minute session he had stopped and was doing wonderfully. He looks stunning at the moment too, all black and shiny! I must get some recent pictures of him. I am going to put him in the lunge cavasson on Thursday but continue in hand - here's to a smooth second lesson.

What a day Friday was! Loved every minute (despite being up early and making the aforementioned vol au vents before leaving the house!) it was great to spend the morning watching the main event with our friends at Janet and Matt's, champagne a plenty, followed by a super lunch then back home with Johnno in tow to enjoy a brilliant evening with Thompson royalty, and to toast our latest love story in JC and Andrea <3 shame I passed out on the sofa at midnight mind you lol

OK I am getting ridiculously excited now! Tomorrow is the Royal Wedding, and Kate Middleton finally gets to marry her Prince - woohoooo..

I am listening to Radio 1 and Fearne Cotton is in London meeting all the people who have travelled to be at the event and it sounds fantastic, what an atmosphere. I have baked my cupcakes, in their union jack cases (!) and have started on my vol au vent fillings for the 72 that I will be assembling first thing before getting frocked up and skipping down to Vapery lane with my minis in tow for Janet's English Garden Party! Cannot wait.

I do love this stunning weather (despite being inside and working presently) the only thing that gets me really hot and bothered though is the great British public's choice in attire. Do some people look in the mirror before leaving the house??!

My rules for summer dressing are as follows;

Ladies

1) Plastic bra straps are NEVER acceptable. Either wear strapless or wear a pretty bra underneath, a nice (clean!!!) bra strap is always forgiven.
2) Please shave/wax/ epilate in some way shape or form, we are not continental and straggly arm pit hair is revolting. Ditto leg hair - please remove it, oh and that includes the back of your legs please!
3) If last year's summer clothes are too small, try not to squeeze in to them.
4) Fake tan is OK, if applied properly, but do wash your hands well after lathering up.
5) Cutesy cartoon tee's are best left to those under the age of 5.
6) Step away from Crocs unless you want to say goodbye to your sex life for good.
7) If you are going to expose your toes, have a pedicure (or at very least make sure you have clean feet and toenails!)

Men

1) Only ever take off your top in the privacy of your own home, and please do not drive shirtless.
2) Use a decent deodorant
3) As per no 5 above, steer clear of cutesy tees
4)Ditto ones with inappropriate innuendo, making small talk at the school gates with a man wearing a tshirt that proclaims 'I like to be Down Under, probing through the hot bush' makes me feel rather nauseous.
5) No socks with your sandals
6) Clean feet at all time too please.

Here's to a summer of harmony!

The Bride and Groom! Winter Gardens April 14th 2011


I am black in the bloggersphere! Hello everyone, hope you have had a great couple of weeks in my absence..

Florida was fantastic! We had an incredible and memorable holiday, everything was just wonderful. My BF's wedding was a superb day, perfect weather and a stunning setting for the ceremony, and the bride looked exquisite in Jenny Packham and a grin from ear to ear! I have to admit to shedding a few tears as I saw her being led down the 'aisle' by her Dad, such an emo I am. Great celebrations lead way to Jay, Jude and I disappearing off down to Key West for some R&R after the excitement of Orlando and more notably the theme parks and restaurants (we did Magic Kingdom, Seaworld and Islands of Adventure) and the whole trip was just brilliant.

It was also rather pleasant to return to such beautiful english weather (!!) on my baby boy's 2nd Birthday! How the time has flown. Granny and Grandad came over in the evening for champagne and birthday cake (well easter cakes with 2 candles in them as I ran out of time to bake or buy) and then, following a 14 hour sleep we spent a great Easter weekend with friends and family.

Back to work and school today though, reality hits hard, it was a struggle getting everyone up and out of the door this morning..

"The best surprise EVER Mummy!!!"

Was Teya's reaction when she found out that our surprise in London was in fact going to see the Wizard of Oz at the Palladium! What a fab show - it was really wonderful, very cleverly done, fantastic set and the cast were magnificent - full of energy and a clear passion for being there. The theatre has had a makeover too and was stunning. Highly recommend it, especially if your little girls, or you, were huge fans of the BBC1 show last year - it is a real treat, oh and Teya wore her ruby slippers :)

Whilst in the smoke I did a spot of shopping on Regent St, admired lots of beautiful things in Michael Kors - but resisted! Did pick up a dress for the wedding in Zara but am yet to try it on........ here's hoping. I cannot believe that we fly out to Florida in 6 days - operation get set for holiday has started, husband currently ironing !!

OUCH!

My poor hubby took a nasty tumble off his bike whilst off roading this morning.. have a feeling that is going to be very sore tomorrow - looks painful and he managed to knock himself out at the same time poor lovely..

My patience paid off, this morning I won a gorgeous vintage Mulberry satchel bag on Ebay - I have been fantasising about it for a week and now IT IS MINE!!!! I am waiting for another bag to finish later and I will post pics when my beauties arrive (providing I win the second lol) v chuffed.

Off to the pub for kids tea with Saf and her brood later which should be lovely, the work on their house is still ongoing and she has been without a kitchen for 3 weeks now, eek!

Happy Friday all xx

Every morning it is a struggle to get Spud in to her uniform - not physically (!) but she takes forever getting dressed and will dither and whinge the whole time, whilst I yell from various parts of the house for her to hurry up! Imagine my delight when, at 7.15 this am a fully dressed and clean Spud came bounding in to our bedroom... only slight problem is that today is school trip day, which requires leggings and a different top!! Bless her, of all the days! Was very funny though.

My day did not get off to a good start - some b*stard had fly tipped a load of crap right outside the entrance to my field! I was livid - happily the council are on their way to clear it up but seriously some people are just hideous. It wasn't just green stuff either (not that that is excusable) it was a load of old roofing felt, nails, plastic panels etc.. Not happy. On the plus side my hubby has managed, with the help of my Dad, to locate the whereabouts of his uncle's memorial. His plane was shot down in WW2 and his Mum has never really known what happened. So, we are taking her over to Runnymede on Saturday which will be lovely, in a strange way.. She is so chuffed that she is finally going to find out a bit more about her big brother. Afterwards we are taking her to lunch at in Sunningdale, so it should be a rather memorable day.

I was officially up before the birds this morning.. my little boy had a nappy explosion at 5.30 this morning (!) and there was no hope of me sleeping after that.. So it is 7.20am and I have already typed up a customer report, cleaned up the kitchen, finished the washing up, compiled today's to do list, got kids' school bags ready and answered a couple of work related emails... might be time for a lie down shortly!! Oh no, got to go do the horses - no rest for the wicked ;)

Off to do more dog/pony training with Janet and our big kids after pick up - Baz is getting much better with Pops (she is a super star with him!) but he is still rather over excitable so here's hoping that a few more times of this and he will decide that there is no novelty factor left in dogs and will calm down. Mind you, he bust through the electric fence at the weekend so he really is a tough little cookie. Nearly time to start his proper training, that is going to be a shocker all round..

What a lovely weekend! Saturday saw us shopping for the last of our holiday bits (soo exciting, Teya has a new cross body bag too which makes her look like one of the Jack Wills 15 year old set EEEKKK but her choice of theme park bag!) followed by the Banga family joining us in the evening for a take away pizza and pyjama night in! Yesterday, Teya went riding in the morning and came home ravernous for her roast lunch - so we scoffed that down and went for a bike ride through the village and in to Brookwood cemetary. I forget how beautiful and how humbling that place is, it looked magnificent in the spring sunshine. Rounded that off with a trip to the pub next door for pinot and ice cream (former for us, latter for kids!) and caught up with Rob W whilst the kids caused havoc in the beer garden, superb... On way to review some policies at school now as part of my Gov duties, happy Monday all!

Had a great evening last night with Mr and Mrs Wakers - great fun as ever, we ate local sausages from our butcher, put the world to rights, toasted their new house (about time too, it has to be one of the longest house purchase sagas in history!!) and planned out Florida holiday! We are all so excited about the whole thing, it is going to be superb. Here are some pics of where we are staying..

Ahh another working week! The Hen night went well, the Hen herself had a great time and it was altogether a good evening (despite the fact that the food didn't arrive till 10.45pm - when most of us had gone off the idea of eating!) not enough champagne really, but that was in reality only a good thing as I had to get back on the road at 9am to pick up my minis.. they had had a wonderful time being spoiled by Granny, and Kev ran a great half marathon at Reading, so sucess all round. Made a huge cottage pie for our supper and enjoyed some good Sauvignon before waving goodbye to another weekend.

Had felt car juddering for a few weeks now, it turns out that a front tyre was flat (oops) and so badly worn that when Kev went to inflate it yesterday it burst!! Cue much trauma around the changing of the tyre and me having to borrow tools from the lovely chaps at Bentley's garage in order for Kev to change the tyre! My poor little car limped in to their workshop finally yesterday afternoon and should be back with me at some point today, not looking forward to that bill..

I am still undecided as to my outfit for Saturday night... as the agenda includes cocktails I am feeling that flats would be the best option, but Saturday night out without heels just seems wrong!




I do currently have these on my lust list mind you.. maybe that is why I am hankering towards flats?

Tory Burch pumps - above.

It is now 4 days until my Best Buddy's Hen Night! Am really looking forward to celebrating with her and some of her other friends up in Worcester.. So yesterday I bought her photo album and her notebook from Paperchase and this afternoon I have been putting together all sorts of old photos of her from the past decade to present on Saturday night!

Planned outfit is still TBC.... Argh

The sun is shining! It has to be a good day.. finally it feels as though we are emerging from the darkness in to spring and I am loving it. Still, it is bloody cold out there so all hail for my lovely hubby who bought me a pair of Dubarry boots yesterday, love him! They had £100 off, which is a great saving, although I appreciate that they weren't cheap to start with..

It is Pancake day today and Teya has stipulated that she wants plain jam pancakes for supper, hubs wants lemon and sugar and I don't even like them! I do love whipping them up though, even though I only ever do it same time each year and therefore have to make a ton of batter mix owing to the fact that the first 5 or so are crap and even the dog won't eat them!

Still undecided as to what I am giving up for lent..

So the detox went well and I lost 5lbs! I promptly put on 2 and then lost 3 so I am still hovering around 5-6 lbs down in 2 weeks, not bad. Still got a way to go - and only 8 weeks till Florida!

Went for a run with super speedy husband this am before work which was excellent, if knackering! Feeling v virtuous :)

My HUGE magnetic notice board has arrived, whoop - Kev and Steve are due to put it up for me this afternoon - too excited, finally getting the stuff off the side of my fridge so that work on new kitchen cupboard can commence...

Cod for supper tonight, and Marchlands on the TV, excellent.

OK day 2 of Detox and all well so far - headache yesterday afternoon but I feel much better today! Not any less tired mind you..

Yesterday I ate;

1 x cup bouillion with jalapeno peppers
6 sticks celery
3 spoonfulls cottage cheese
salad consisting of lettuce, apraragus, cucumber and peas with low red wine vinegar dressing

Drank water and weak squash!

Not much hey! But that is the point, am actually looking forward to getting on the scales tomorrow and seeing some results, I want to eat some tasty food!!!

Mission get Foxy For Florida has started!

So, I am still carrying far too much 'spare' weight around for my liking, due to basically my lack of self control! I love my food and my wine and quite honestly any excuse for a get together or a party and it is apalling news for my waistline.. it is now time to get tough, my bessie Kaz is getting married in Florida on the 14th April and we are spending two weeks out there, wearing minimal clothing so quite frankly I need to do something about my sad sack of a body. OK, in clothes I don't look too bad but zoikes, I do not like my naked self one bit and enough is enough. I can't blame post baby bod either, I am lucky with my genes - nope, no one to blame but me! Good news is that I know I can do it, I have willpower of steel when I put my mind to it, the only thing that I will find v tough is giving up the wine, but the image of me in a bikini as I look now is enough motivation :)

Firstly - I need to start running again, I have blamed my lack of exercising on the weather but I am blatantly too lazy (well what would you rather do, strap on a sports bra and a pair of Nikes and head out in to the freezing January day or curl up on the sofa with Grazia magazine? Exactly) I also need to rein in my eating and drinking, Kev and I have started the year really well with our alcohol free days we have made some spectacular leaps off the wagon too.. Today marks day one of my detox, I am doing that for 3 days and am then going to follow a small portion diet plan, I CBA with no carb, endless salads, brown rice etc so I am just going to eat ballerina sized portions of normal food, drink gallons of water and see how I go. I have been on my thigh trainer too today and will go for a run tomorrow am as soon as I have dropped Zoom at nursery, just before I start work and I am aiming to get back to running 3 x per week and thigh training a further few.

Weekends I will be less strict with myself, hell I know I will fail if I set myself too strict a regime! I want 10 lbs off by end of Feb, and a total loss of 1.5 stone by the time April rocks around.

Wish me luck, so far I have had water water and water and I am feeling good.. long may it last..

My Black Wednesday

It all started in 1993, September, just as I started back at school for the new year. I was 14. My first stop on the way to my first day was the stables, my favourite sanctuary. As I rounded the corner and through the little wooden gate a dark flash shot across the field ahead - I looked closer and there she was - standing bolt upright and snorting wildly, the mad crazy bay Arab mare who would become the love of my life, my best friend, my soul mate and the one who knew everything there was to know about me. It was love at first sight, and I would like to think that the feeling was mutual, even if she was wicked to me on occasions! Dusty was unique, she was wild and crazy and no one else's choice of mount apart from mine. She was as fine as spun sugar and as strong as an Ox and she gave you a look as if to say, 'you just stay on your toes lady!' she was a stunning bright pale conker colour, with a shock of black mane and tail and she had the most amazing white markings, two symmetrical white back legs, flecks on her flanks and incredible white stripes across her tail, as if she had leant against a fence covered in flour! Her face was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, beautifully dished with a startling white blaze that ran right to her lip. She had a tiny whorl behind her ear which she very rarely let me touch, she HATED her ears being touched, in fact that was one of the ways that we could tell if she was feeling poorly, she let us touch her ears. Dusty was incredibly fast, she could gallop and would outrun everyone, always - she was bold and jumped like a little stag, although was often a little too excitable for me to actually do a clear round!

For the next 4 years I looked after her day in day out, we rode as often as possible both up and down the cumbrian fells and all around the the surrounding villages. We jumped (terrifying on occasions!) and we schooled, we galloped and we explored, we spent so much time together. Indeed she threw me and fell backwards on top of me the week before my A Levels - that was not so fun! It broke my heart when I found it near impossible to ride her when I was almost crippled with arthritis, but I had a go, and she looked after me then, it was as though she knew.

When I finally left school, the summer holidays and the prospect of not having my pony with me were too much, so Nellie (head of riding at my school) agreed to sell her to me for £700 - so I worked all summer at the Naafi and in the Officers' Mess and when I finally sent Nellie the cheque I was elated! A week later, clattering off the back of a lorry in not so much as a brushing boot for protection, my darling arrived at our new home, where I would be working as a working pupil for the next year. Quite how I managed to keep us both on my salary of £35 a week I will never know, but we had a fantastic time, we hunted for the first time, and I insisted on doing so in a snaffle as she wouldn't accept a stronger bit - much to the amusement of my colleagues - especially when my dog hating horse saw the hounds released for the first time, we nearly went in to orbit! Her stable was just over the corridor from my dorm, and we shared everything from crips sandwiches to easter eggs..

Then as we both got older we moved yards together, bringing Ladybird with us - my Mum's horse who became Dusty's equine soul mate. We then had a riot of mad hacking, jumping, photoshoots (Dusty was made famous in Good Housekeeping in 1998 I think it was!) lessons for my Mum, local shows - oh the disasters, even a lovely sharer for her, Sammy who helped me out when work got too much.

Dusty was such a brave horse, prone to colic which gave us great cause for concern on many occasion - and had a heart murmur which never seemed to bother her! She acted like a filly her whole life, and age would not weary her, not at all. No one ever believed me when I told them she was born in 1981, the year before my sister! She suffered her fair share of dramatic injuries too, she was attacked in the field and did severe damage to her leg in 2001, but I nursed her back, she even got horrendously kicked in October last year and fractured her leg - but we fixed her then too (although we then retired her from being ridden, much to her delight!) it was tough but she was a fighter.

On Wednesday 29th September 2010 I received a call from my Mum, it was 8.30 am and she wanted me to come down to the yard straight away to see Dusty, she said that she was having trouble walking. As I put down my phone, I knew, I had had a terrible dream two nights before and I felt the horror rising up inside me that my worst fear was coming true.

I got to the field within minutes and as I saw my beautiful girl trying to walk towards me the pain ripped through me like a knife. Her back end was failing, her legs weren't supporting her body and they were contorting horribly with every step she tried to take. I called the vet immediately. Dietrich was with us within half an hour. Dusty had spinal trauma, most likely a tumour and nothing was going to fix her this time, no open ended credit card, no medicine, nothing would. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming, I sobbed and sobbed as I gave the consent to send my best friend to sleep for the last time. We had to sedate Ladybird to keep her calm whilst we said goodbye. So, I buried my face in her lovely wild mane and told her I was sorry, that I loved her so very much and that I had to say goodbye. Dusty fell peacefully to sleep at 11am, and with her, a piece of me died too.

It is the hardest thing now knowing she isn't here any more, that I wont see her face when I return to our field. Dusty was always there, she listened to all my dilemmas, my thoughts, my hopes, dreams and secrets - that horse took many secrets to her grave. She always listened, never judged and always gave such a lot back. She saw me grow up, fall in and out of love and back again, do my work, have my children (whom she wasn't always overly keen on!) and she even let Teya on her back on a couple of occasions, but never for very long!! Despite the fact that she was nearly 30, and I knew she wouldn't last forever, the shock is still severe.

So, goodnight Pony, thank you for the past 18 years of unconditional love, and for all the joy that you brought to me and my family. We will miss you everyday. I am so very grateful that you didn't have to suffer, that you had no long term illness that was causing you pain. I am glad that you were able to live your life to the full in your fab 8 acre field, right up until the end. Take care up there, I treasure each and every thought of you.

OK crikey this is a late one but Happy New Year all! This is a rubbish rubbish late update but oh my what a Christmas period we had... madly busy but wonderful, the house was full daily of love, fun and laughter and it was great to have everyone around all over the holidays. I was absolutely shattered by the time my sis and nephew left mind you and was very glad to be snowed in for a few days to catch up on some QT with the Spuddy and just chill out and make snowmen, feed the birds and venture round the corner to the pub with Janet and her kiddies! Fun times, the village is beautiful in the snow..

BUT.. day 10 of it means that I am feeling a little bored of not being able to venture out, so would like the big thaw now - just to keep me from housework and internet shopping whilst the Zed Head (my baby who now has 7 teeth!!!!) is sleeping...

What a few days!!! Wow - we have been so very busy on the house and all is - if I do say so myself - looking fabulous!! We have the curtains, bloody beautiful curtains, up in the lounge - and the room is transformed. It looks stunning and so homely now. I have bought a great new cofee table from ebay that I m ain the middle of painting the top of and will be doing the big mirroe and the other side table to match!

The gorgeous and hugely smiley Birley came over for lunch in the snow today - was a great afternoon. She is a very happy lady, has met a fab sounding chap whose name is Winston - yes, it is a huge temptation to shout WIINNNNSTAAANNNNN in a quasai Jamacian accent but hell, he sounds just perfect fpr her and I am beyond over the moon for her.. watch this space..

Only 3 more sleeps til Rigs and baby Droo arrive - oohhh cant wait! All is ready for their arrival and my wonderful husband has even booked us both in for a wash and blow dry at Toni and Guy at 12pm on Xmas eve so that we can look stunning for Xmas.. and he is not only paying but is also looking after the 3 kids! I am definately married to the most amazingly thoughtful man in the world. I love him with all that I am.....

My husband snores on the sofa opposite me - so I have been in my pink place - cherrrist that sounds rude :) but I am talking about an internet forum, nowhere else!!

I feel compelled to just type down a few feelings that I would like to express -because a lot of the lovey friends I have met have experienced a miscarriage, they have lost longed for babies and that is something that I just cannot imagine. I know of my own heartache, from simply trying for a baby for so long.. and yes, it may have taken us longer second time around that we would have imagined, but we didn't lose our longed for baby. I take my hat off to all the wonderful women that I 'know' who are so bloody brave and strong after losing their babies. Life can be so cruel yet they stand up to it square in the face and beat it, most of the wonderful women I know have gone on to expand their families, yet their lost ones are never forgotton. I salute you, and I celebrate the brief time your loved ones were here.

Thank you ladies for being an inspiration, all my lots of humbling love to you all xxx

OK I am not giving up alcohol again - 2 weeks ago I decided to stop the wine for a few days and on day 3 I got flu! Flu so bad that I was dripping with sweat and freezing for 4 days. I haven't felt so bad for 10 years, honestly it was awful. Anyway, since I have recovered I dare not go a day without wine, and I am fighting fit!

So, now I am back to myself, I have been flat out for xmas, my cards are written and posted, my presents are all bought and mostly wrapped, the trees are up, the house is decorated (ok yes thre is more work to be done but hell I am happy with what we have so far..) the menu is sorted, the food is ordered from M&S and the itinerary is sussed. I feel so chuffed, and am so looking forward to the festivities I am buzzing!! I will miss my beautiful black cat this year though, he always loves Christmas, the heat and the merriment and the abundance of laps to kip on. My darling Flik, we will miss you every second xx