So now my life is complete - my Sister called this evening to say that she and my darling Nephew will be coming home on December the 22nd til Jan 4th. Well, I cant deny but I just cried, cried and cried, I have never felt so happy or so lucky. This year I will make a huge Xmas dinner for my beautiful sister and her son, for my Mum and Dad, the inspiration for my life and also for my incredible mother in law, whom I am in awe of every day. I have never seen her shed a tear, not even when we arrived to see her husband's last moments, nothing. elizabeth is the most amazingly strong and proud woman and she is a rock. If ever a Mother could show her love by her son she has. I am very lucky. I love that woman as if she was my own flesh and blood, I guess we have so much in common and we love Kevin unconditionally make us pretty kindred..

I am the luckiest daughter in law, I love my mother in law to bits.
I just cannot wait to have my gorgeous family around my table on christmas day,Iwant to cook a fab meal for us all and the fact that we are all going to be together is worth more than I could ever express in words.

I know you have all been dying to know the results... JESS SURVIVED!! Phew, she had a stint in the washing machine and then in the freezer and is looking much better for the makeover. I am sure Teya's cough is improving already so, fingers crossed that this house will be a little less snotty from now on.

Bless Teya, she has lost 2 teeth this week and now looks extremely comedy and speaks with a lisp! Very very funny but I am gutted as have had to cancel the kid's photoshoot that I had planned for a couple of weeks time. I am sure she would not appreciate the pics in years to come. Oh god, the Christmas pictures aren't going to be as pretty as last years! Ah well, the big ones will grow soon enough, and then she will have whopping tombstones like mine no doubt..

Today something very terrifying is going to occur.. I am going to put Jess in the washing machine!!

Now Jess is my daughter's pride and joy - I would give up everything I have to keep that cat and quite honestly the thought of putting her on a 40 degree spin cycle fills me with dread. The trouble is it is high time I did because my lovely GP friend thinks Jess' general filthiness could have something to do with the fact that Teya's horrible persistent cough will not budge - and that makes total sense. The cat must be full of bugs YUK as she hasnt been washed in ahem some while..

So, just before I head out to meet my bosses to discuss my flexi hours request (for another post) I shall be putting her in a pillowcase and saying a small prayer for her safe return!!

Wish me luck.. I shall report back later..

Enough is enough - my losing weight is getting slower and slower - so time for drastic action! I started my Davina workouts yesterday, did an hour this am and plan to run tomorrow when Mother In Law has the baby, phew, finally kicking my unfit bum in to touch.. I have to lose 1stone 2lbs by Xmas eve - but the best bit is that Janet is rising to the challenge with me, she wants a stone off to, so it is competition time...

6 weeks and 2 days to go... We will do it!

As well as that challenge Janet and I are doing the 'who can make the most on Ebay' beween now and then, and there are bonus points for selling from under the husband's noses.. what will they notice has gone?!

So, flush and thin by Christmas, woo hoo - I am ready!

We almost have an open fire again!!! I say almost because it is not quite finished yet but I am overly excited at the prospect of being able to satisfy my pyromaniac tendancies this weekend. The lovely Bob has knocked the fireplace back in, rendered the parts where the darling Luigi (developer) lazily stuffed in breeze blocks, and it is just the finishing round the edges to do now, which Bob is doing at 9.30am tomorrow.. I then pick up the Indian sandstone harth and we are good to go - thanks to the £20 antique fire grate picked up at Perry Hill last weekend - woo hoo - naughty nights in front of the open fire here we come.. lol

Oh, and I have to paint the chimney breast, I bought the wrong shade of Farrow and Ball, dahling, needs to be darker - but by crikey that paint is pricey!

Really looking forward to having the snug finished..

See who couldn't love the X Factor?! As soon as the nights draw in, what would Saturday nights be without the X Factor and the heckling at the various acts? Us sitting room dwellers who cast our opinions so harshly, despite being able to hold a tune, save for the occasional drunken rendition of God Save The Queen..

Anyway, Saturdays in the Neill household are all about pizza and X Factor, we let the Spud stay up owith us but she always quaffs out early to retire to our bed with the ipod, for her Disney is waaaayy more entertaining than some wannabes on ITV.

Now, whilst I actually agree with my 5 1/2 year old, I have to state that I (we) watch the X Factor for the following reasons..

1) We love the sexual chemistry between SiCo and Chezza - they so have to do it sometime soon..
2) I have a massive girl crush on Chezza
3) Oh and on Danni too, esp as I actually asked my hairdresser to 'cut my hair like Danni's' ahhh the shame lol
4) he did cut my hair like Danni's
5) Jedward are shit but are more entertaining than Lloyd
6) Maybe Cheryl will like Danyl now that he has the same haircut as her hubby
7) Maybe she will hate him more
8) How bitchy can Louis be

So for now, we will be watching, and what crap it is... you just have to watch the Festival of Rememberance on the beeb to realise true talent. I will post about Rememberance tomorrow, something very close to my heart, but not to be typed tonight after a few bottles of vin blanc..

The strangest feeling is going to collect a loved one's ashes. Today I collected my beautiful cat from the vets, well his ashes anyway, and it felt all wrong, too wrong. A week ago, my wonderful big panther cat was taken from me, hit on the road outside our new house.At 6pm he was rubbing up against my legs, later that evening, his back was broken. Thank god some local pub goers spotted him on the path as they walked home and came to our door. The doorbell rang at 9.15pm, hubby sent me to the door, wimping out of dealing with premature trick or treaters.. when I was confronted by a couple who started with the words 'do you own a black cat.......' I just knew. I screamed at Kev and ran across the road, to find my darling cat lying on the path waiting for me. He looked up at me and cried and I knew I wouldn't have him for much longer.

Kev ran out of the house after me and carried him back inside. I was hysterical, I have never felt such a searing pain for an animal. He was our first baby, he had been with Kev and I for 11 years, surely he couldnt be taken away from us now.. Kev put his hand on my sobbing shoulder.. ''he is going to die, I need to take him to the vet now, I am sorry darling....' I sat with my handsome cat for one more minute, kissing his head and crying in to his neck. He looked at me in pain and yowled. Part of me wishes he had died there in my arms. But I had to watch my husband carry him to the front seat of the car.. and I really did not want to say goodbye, but I did, despite the fact that my last words to Kev were, I am sure they will fix him, please make them fix him.

I howled and howled. Kev called me to say he had gone. He had a broken back, they had to put him down. I dont know how long I cried after that, the world went black. How bloody unfair, he was meant to be with us for sometime yet, why now? My darling Daddy called (Mum was away in Italy) Daddy was so sad too, distraught and worried about me. I didnt sleep that night, Kev came home and cuddled me but I lay awake looking at the darkness thinking of the Pirbright Panther, and how much I missed him already.

So, back to the start of this post - I picked up his ashes today, my incredible cat in an oak box with his name engraved on the top. It sits next to me now, and all I feel is an emptiness.

I havent told many people about Flik's death, I cannot bear to tell, but to those of you who know and who have been so wonderfully supportive, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Flik, I love you so so very much, and you will be forever in our hearts xx

I will update from the new house soon, but what with this and my horse's fractured splint bone, I have had a sad and stressful time recently, despite the joy of the new family home.